i have good news and bad news!

I know you want the bad news first! I'll be leaving this blog. Its so funny to me because every couple of years since freshman year in high school I've made a new blog. I guess its because I'm constantly growing and I feel that I need a change to fit my huge change in my life.

Ok! now to the good news! I made a new blog haha! of course it's going to be pretty much the same but more focus on becoming a woman and living on my own.  Right now im just messing around trying to get a feel of what to post but I hope you enjoy it!

http://embracethebeautiful.blogspot.com/

...

It’s like we spend our lives looking for that one connection to someone so we can have a reason to fall in love. 

Then we ignore all the red flags and the little voices in our head to stay in love.

And then we sit there stuck wondering why everything fell apart.

I want to ask him if he'd ever hurt me, but what's the point in that question.

His past sounds familiar to me, déjà vu.

He's been in a broken home, he's made plenty of mistakes too

but I'm sucked in because he said he’s a changed person. 

Should I trust him?

Or should I run. 

Ready. To leap blindlessly with hope for no more broken promises.

No more damn lies.

Just comfort and wholeness.

Living with no doubt, no regret.

A new chapter I can begin, the past I can soon forget.

and i wish we never did it **trey songz voice**

your eyes gaze at me

i look around with uncerntanty

that anyone can look like that at me

i smile and look down shyly

my tall dark n handsome african prince is what i called you secretly

skype sessions til 4 in the morning talking about whatever came freely

singing britney spears acting goofy

i loved when youd stare at me

you called me beautiful, i didnt know how to react to that

i thought to myself damn he's such a catch

but i cant like this guy, so i let go my feelings for you...detached

the last skype session was the quietest, as i watched you play 2k and talk to your homie

it was 3am and you were mindless

and then you asked me "can i come over and chill."

chill? CHILL?

my guts were churning but some how i managed to ignore it when i said, "yes."

then you were here.

so confused, i wanted to read your mind as you took off your shoes and sat on my bed.

"lets watch a movie,"  you said.

i was happy to see you as i laid my head on your chest and we talked n talked...

i cared for you, i called you friend.

but lust was yours while the fool was mine as i gave in to your temptations

and my flirtatious habits came...

sex was your aim

now that sex is my shame

and you cant even be the one to blame

tried to be friends but there were too many words left unsaid

we got into an argument and my blunt words has you misled

 and after that youve havnt checked up on me since

im bummed because im missing out on a good friend

and i sorta miss you...

aaww well , neeeeeext! 

hello fear.

Kirk Franklin's album is amazing, very inspirational and heartfelt like always. I've been listening to it ever since I downloaded it. lol but the 2nd track is him saying this poem. Its called the story of fear.


I can't sing but I'm gonna work hard for you to like me

Didn't dream 'cuz if I fail then I might be

What they said I was could I ever say I did it

Tell yay now that I'm second to admit it

Insecure I can't understand the application

If I applied myself I guess there'd be no situation

But who teaches who when everyday's a substitute

I tried to plant love but it never took root

My soul's got weeds and the roots are too deep

The roots don't sail 'cuz the roots are too deep

Wait

ADDC my roots too deep

A kid too afraid to close his eyes and sleep

Can't you hear me studder everytime I speak

Fear said hello when she left me weak

Love me and left me with abandonment issues

Pains a secret but it illuminates in you then it creates a menu

But sin on your plate you don't know until later how much ever you ate

Now I'm watching my weight

Will this album be my best one?

But if it's not y'all on to the next one

So hello fear it's about time we speak

It may take a while cause our roots run deep